I think it’s funny that people who treat you like shit get offended when you finally do the same to them
(Source: bl-eehh, via klaineintardis)
I think if a murderer wanted to lure me out of my room all they’d have to do is turn off my wifi cause sure as shit I’m gonna go see why it isn’t working
now that this thought has been put forward, i will always make sure my router and modem are based in my room. no chances — my enemies are everywhere
Turn my wifi off and the intended victim becomes the murderer.
(Source: ianwanda, via you-are-a-beautiful---mess)
If you mix the right amount of sodium chloride and water it becomes poison.
*gets down on one knee* will you go away
(via ur-my-favourite-song)
Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT
I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON
HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE EVER AND THEN SHOUTED “LATER MUGGLES” AND FUCKING RAN OFF
AM I DREAMING
(via batsandbutts)
How to break up with someone
if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body
(via confessions-of-a-fuckup)
